how my life is, and how i want it to turn out

My life hasn't always been this way, but what can i say? even i don't remember how my life was like, imagine that old life was just a year ago, i don't even remember the things i wrote on this blog when i 1st started this blog, i didn't want this blog to be a emo blog, i wanted it to make an impact of people's lives

bt

i haven't been doing a good job

have i

by now you would have probably gotten bored and will leave this blog
bt pls stay
it'll juz take a few minute to read


I've lived a total of 4 lives in total
1- happy go lucky (age 0-14 1/2)
2- emo (age 14 1/2- 16 2 months)
3- LIFEgame life (4 days real time/57 years game time)
4- trying to pick up the pieces

yes
camp was very meaningful in a way that in 4 days
I got my BACHELORS
I got a job
I got fired
I got rejected for marriage
I gambled all my money away
I GOT IMPACTED THE WAY I'VE NEVER BEEN B4

In the camp
they showed alot of videos
i got impacted by a lot

i actually cried twice in this camp

why?

there were many things happening in my life
many problems
many problems that i couldn't resolved
so
i looked down and stared at the floor
i did that for so long that i 4gt what i was doing
who i was
where i was supposed to be
and mostly
who God made me to be

when i was 14 8 months
i failed in my 1st puppy love

when i was 15 2 months
i did badly for my PMR

when i was 15 3 months
i entered pure science

when i was 15 8 months
I failed most of my subjects
I got a heck of a scolding from my dad

when i was 15 9 months
I started recovering from my 1st puppy love
I got backstabbed by 1 of my closes friends
I lost my trust in all of my friends
and I thought that nobody liked me anymore

when i was 15 11 months
and I did better in my finals

when i was 16 0days 0 months
I found things that reminded me of things that happened and made me think i was useless

when i was 16 2 months
I went to camp
I recovered from my emoness
and became devasted by the rejection of marriage(funny right it was juz all a game and it felt so real)

now
i've resolved myself to become thin by feb 2010
do well in my studies
and make more time for God

Because in that camp

God told me something that i could never forget

I'm your friend
I am your creator
no one will love you more than I do
NO ONE can take away what I have given to you

and i cried

I was thinking to myself
how could God use such a stupid person like me
how can God use someone who is so easily hurt by love
how can God use someone who people doesn't like

bt as i said that to myself

God said to me

you are not stupid, if you are, then everyone else here in this room is stupid
because you have put your faith in me, I have given you gifts that no one else has
and no one will ever take them away from you
you may be easily hurt by love, bt what you go through now will change your life forever, you will be strong for me, even the tongue will not be able to penetrate you
and who says that no one likes you, look around you, you have so many friends, you have so many friends that has not yet come to Me and if you love me, you will carry my commandments, you will learn what it really means to be a ChristIan, and your friends will be uncountable like the stars

and i continued crying
with my hand on my face
I was ashamed with my self
still doubting that God can you someone like me

and He said to me
take your hand off of your face
open your eyes
the person who is there sitting next to you,
he is your friend
and he is praying right now
for you

and slowly
i pulled my hand off of my face
and i opened my eyes and i saw uncle Edmund
and he asked whether I had anything that i wanted him to pray for
and i said
anything God puts into your mind
and he prayed for me
and everything that i was going through came out from his mouth
and i was so touched that God
even though he has the whole universe to care about
he cares for me

and most of all he cares for all of our individual needs

i pray that you who have read this will be blessed and those who juz read the top
will come back and their lives touched as well

how to

how to:
a) Stay up till 4am
b) not eat 2 outta 3 meals
c) fake studying
d) do gym(by recomendations of a doc to be)

A- Staying up late
.listen to music
.think bout wat you're gonna do tomorrow
.waste your time by looking at the floor
.etc

B- Not eat 2 outta 3 meals and still keep your strength
. wake up late
. wake up early
. sit in front of your comp stoning or doing something
. go gym? do some exercise( don't be a couch potato)

C- Fake Studying
.Open a book and switch on your com and listen to music
.close the door

D- How to the gym properly(as recomended by a doc)
* only do this if you're in the recomended weight of your height or overweight
. Do everything in sets of 3s(8 in each)
. Get a partner to push you forward

E- how to waste your day
. by reading my blog which is rarely updated

the million things i've thought of saying to you
i guess will never happen

Me Come Back To Ya

hello
dunno wat 2 write
it's been so long since i've had time to release stress
lol
can't think properly right now
all i hear in my head
go gym.....

yay! HOLS again

well,

TGI Form 3s

PMR!

bt no uselah i miss my 14 cm long hair, 2 inch side burn

ok i juz miss my hair

it's so short now

i think i don't need to cut my hair till next year to get back that hair

well

off to play fallout bb

thanks

yeah i'd like to thank all my frens who were there when i really needed it.


this is nt a life vow bt probably a year vow, so, I won't emo over someone who Accept me for who i am, whom my only demise is her Malice, who doesn't Acknowledge my worth, who doesn't value me as a frieNd, who has Destroyed my life, nor will i ever look back on how desolAted my life has becomes because of her.


bt through all this, i have realised that all of this has only been a misunderstanding of what happened. I thank you for helping me realising that.

BIG failure comes GREAT responsibility

KARAT

what happens when you fail
a) no internet(nt so bad rite?)


b)no COMPUTER


c)no LIFE(wait i gt dat a long time ago)










d)dead DREAMS(yeah pretty much dead)












so wat happens after all this?














NO EXPRESSIONS AND SOME DEAD EMOTIONS



KARATed




RUSTed







bb:)

Idiot

Drastic changes

Maniac creations

Nomatic indications

Robotic emotions

Demonic aggressions

Atomic degenerations

Unethical conclusions

Strategic preparations

Idiotic Motions

Acoustic Depressions

Electrical discharges

Bombarded exposure

Radiation kill'e

*******stops half way*******

due to unpredictable comedic video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoi1MSGu64

Train Station

It's been awhile, bt then again, it hasn't been......

There was once a Boy, he took a train to a beautiful white train station. He wore a very nice white suit that his Father recently gave him. He was supposed to meet someone. He waited and waited and waited and waited. Then a shady stranger came to him and asked him,"Where are your parents? You shouldn't wait here all alone you know." The Boy replied,"My parents aren't here, I'm waiting for someone." Then the stranger offered him some candy, with 1 condition, to follow him where he goes next. With the naiveness of the little Boy, he took the candy, and followed the stranger onto a train.
When he stepped down of the train, he reached a very dirty, smelly, ugly, etc(all the bad things you can think off) train station. Then, he tripped and fell, and Mud just splattered all over his white suit. But then, instead off feeling disgusted, he felt happy.
And from that day forth, he stayed in that dirty train station. He became a 'pengemis', he did what 'pengemis' did, he followed what other fellow 'pengemis' did. And then one day, another boy, stepped off the train in a nice colourful suit. It was the most Beautiful suit he had ever seen. And the boy saw him and went to him. He said,"Where have you been? Father has been looking for you!" Blurred, the Boy, asked him, who is "Father?" The boy left silently.
Then ever since that day, the Boy kept thinking of this 'Father'. "Who is he?"he asked himself. Then a voice in his heart said,"He is your Father." Then he remembered, all the things he did with his Father, everytime he fell down, his Father was always there to pick him up, whenever he dirtied his clothes, his Father gave him new clean ones, when he did something wrong, his Father was always there to correct him.
Then one day, he made himself step back into the train. He took the train up the track and reached the beautiful white train station. But when he got there he did not see his Father, his heart broke and he took the train back down the track. He repeated this, everyday. Days passed, months passed, years passed.
Then one day, when he took the train back up the track. He stepped out the train. He looked around, and did not see his Father, he called out, "Father! Father! Are you here!?!" There was no reply.... Then with his grief stricken heart, he made his way back onto the train. Then as he was about to step onto the train. A man hugged him from behind and said,"My son you are finally back into my arms once again." Tears rolled down the Boy's face, and he cried out,"O Father, where were you all these years?" And the man replied,"Oh, my Son, I've always been there, I knew it was you, but I've been waiting all these years to finally hear you say FATHER! FATHER!" Then the Boy asked,"Can you prove to me that I'm your Son?" The man replied,"Everytime you fell down, I was always there to pick you up, whenever you dirtied your clothes, I gave you new clean ones, and when you did something wrong, I was always there to correct you." Then the boy turned around and hugged his Father and said,"Oh Father, I missed you." His Father then gave him brand new clothes, white as snow, clean as nothing you have ever seen before. Then, with tears rolling down each of their faces, they went back Home.

It's been awhile since I've posted anything like this.
As every story has it's purpose, so does this one.
The Boy in this story, is like us, child-like, naive to this world.
The Father in this story, symbolises God.
The Shady Stranger in this story symbolises the Devil.
The Beautiful White Train Station symbolises God's presence.
The Dirty Ugly Train Staion, symbolises the temptations of this world.
The Mud symbolises Sin.
'Pengemis' symbolises those who don't follow God's will and fall into sin.
The Other Boy is your Heart, where it tells you to go back to God.

Have you ever been in this situation, where you are tempted, and you give in to this temptation, you stray away from God, you stray away from His Love, His Presence. And then one day when you realised what you've done wrong, but everytime you try to go back to Him, you don't feel Him there, and you go back to your sins. God has always been there, it's just that you don't realise it, he's just waiting for you to just call out to Him.

If you are in Sin, look back at what you did, and what God did to forgive you. He sent Jesus to die on the cross, lived to die, the Son of God.

It takes us nothing to sin, but it cost'd God Everything....

It takes 2 steps back from sin to move 1 step closer to God,
HybridZ

YESSSSSSS

My Internet is back on9 finally, well Gd Friday was Good and not Good for i had school to go to, and Easter yes, did some presentation and no pics for, the day Christ resurrected my phone died, so it's in the process of resurrecting. And it's getting late bb ^^

hybridzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

KNOWING

yess KNOWING, it's my recommended show for the year(bt wait for Revenge of The FALLEN) damn nice, it's sorta like a ghost show bt in da end, the ghosts are angels(not sure y or even how) they're not ghosts they juz ghostly ppl hu are angels.

See the ghostly unknown ppl? Oh and not a good show to watch at night(1. is that i did that) quite scary

signing off,

HYBRIDZZZZZzzzz

DIE HARD

don't be fooled by the tajuk of this but........

CHONG WEI WON!!!!!

yes!!! Thank God for letting him win to cover up my emo yehehe

WOOHOO!!!!

1st Set 21-16
2nd Set 21-16

Yehehe the very happy Malaysian,
HybridZ

Finally Updated

fuh, finally updated after a while lol
Life's been crazy so far........at least some distractions from thinking bout 'her'(dun ask unless you really care or something)
Exams, drama, emoing yehehe

I FAILED MATH AND ADD MATH!!!!! nearly passed though hehe
strange though science subjects gt As and Bs math gt red pens hehe

Yes been working on some drawings.....hmm....let's c whether i can gt my scanner up and running again :( oh well XD

Now is a question that is hard and easy to answer.

When life gives you shit, what do you do with it???? cos i'm going through some shit times and need advises ppl lol.

can answer in comments and advise can go through chat on msn hybrid_909@hot~dun try and hack this though

Needing advise,
HybridZ

What a SUNDAE

yes, CHINESE NEW YEAR's eve, reunion dinner, road in KK is as clear as my BM karangan book, very few cars(so is my work). Going back soon, and the thing is I BELUM PACK MY BAGGG!!!!

Yes gt 2 c all my relatives at BatuP, Johor.

so yeah packing now, chao

HYBRIDZ

Even Permanent Ink Rubs Off

Nothing you can do could make Him Love you more,
And nothing that you've done can make Him close the door

This 2 lines are taken from a song of great meaning.

No matter how many times you fall,
I will always be there to pick you up
Only if you ask for help.

This was something I heard when listening to this song.

There is no more sorries,
Only thank you's,

This was something I heard while in NSCFL 07.

Everyone has sin, but just imagine, how many times we've failed Him, no matter how many times we fall, God will always be there to pick us up

In God's Kingdom, there are no more sorries, only thank you's for God has Forgiven all our sins.

For many times have we broken God's heart yet he still forgives with only one condition, we repent of our sins.

You may think that you've gone so far away from God and thought that you'll never return, but always remember, God always forgives us, for even Permenant Ink Rubs Off all our sins can be washed away by the Blood of the Lamb.

Picked Up along the way,
HybridZ