how my life is, and how i want it to turn out

My life hasn't always been this way, but what can i say? even i don't remember how my life was like, imagine that old life was just a year ago, i don't even remember the things i wrote on this blog when i 1st started this blog, i didn't want this blog to be a emo blog, i wanted it to make an impact of people's lives

bt

i haven't been doing a good job

have i

by now you would have probably gotten bored and will leave this blog
bt pls stay
it'll juz take a few minute to read


I've lived a total of 4 lives in total
1- happy go lucky (age 0-14 1/2)
2- emo (age 14 1/2- 16 2 months)
3- LIFEgame life (4 days real time/57 years game time)
4- trying to pick up the pieces

yes
camp was very meaningful in a way that in 4 days
I got my BACHELORS
I got a job
I got fired
I got rejected for marriage
I gambled all my money away
I GOT IMPACTED THE WAY I'VE NEVER BEEN B4

In the camp
they showed alot of videos
i got impacted by a lot

i actually cried twice in this camp

why?

there were many things happening in my life
many problems
many problems that i couldn't resolved
so
i looked down and stared at the floor
i did that for so long that i 4gt what i was doing
who i was
where i was supposed to be
and mostly
who God made me to be

when i was 14 8 months
i failed in my 1st puppy love

when i was 15 2 months
i did badly for my PMR

when i was 15 3 months
i entered pure science

when i was 15 8 months
I failed most of my subjects
I got a heck of a scolding from my dad

when i was 15 9 months
I started recovering from my 1st puppy love
I got backstabbed by 1 of my closes friends
I lost my trust in all of my friends
and I thought that nobody liked me anymore

when i was 15 11 months
and I did better in my finals

when i was 16 0days 0 months
I found things that reminded me of things that happened and made me think i was useless

when i was 16 2 months
I went to camp
I recovered from my emoness
and became devasted by the rejection of marriage(funny right it was juz all a game and it felt so real)

now
i've resolved myself to become thin by feb 2010
do well in my studies
and make more time for God

Because in that camp

God told me something that i could never forget

I'm your friend
I am your creator
no one will love you more than I do
NO ONE can take away what I have given to you

and i cried

I was thinking to myself
how could God use such a stupid person like me
how can God use someone who is so easily hurt by love
how can God use someone who people doesn't like

bt as i said that to myself

God said to me

you are not stupid, if you are, then everyone else here in this room is stupid
because you have put your faith in me, I have given you gifts that no one else has
and no one will ever take them away from you
you may be easily hurt by love, bt what you go through now will change your life forever, you will be strong for me, even the tongue will not be able to penetrate you
and who says that no one likes you, look around you, you have so many friends, you have so many friends that has not yet come to Me and if you love me, you will carry my commandments, you will learn what it really means to be a ChristIan, and your friends will be uncountable like the stars

and i continued crying
with my hand on my face
I was ashamed with my self
still doubting that God can you someone like me

and He said to me
take your hand off of your face
open your eyes
the person who is there sitting next to you,
he is your friend
and he is praying right now
for you

and slowly
i pulled my hand off of my face
and i opened my eyes and i saw uncle Edmund
and he asked whether I had anything that i wanted him to pray for
and i said
anything God puts into your mind
and he prayed for me
and everything that i was going through came out from his mouth
and i was so touched that God
even though he has the whole universe to care about
he cares for me

and most of all he cares for all of our individual needs

i pray that you who have read this will be blessed and those who juz read the top
will come back and their lives touched as well